In a candid and necessary conversation on DiCHiPi UNFiLTERED, Lauren Smit, Barbara Moagi, and Dr Batetshi Matenge confront one of the most challenging parts of the mental health journey — asking for help.

Lauren opens the discussion by acknowledging how hard it can be to reach out, especially when it comes to mental healthcare. There’s often a fear of being judged, misunderstood, or seen as weak. But as Dr Matenge explains, this is exactly why community matters. Having trusted peers and friends around us can make a world of difference when the load feels too heavy to carry alone.

“It is okay to ask for help,” Dr Matenge says — a reminder that cuts through the shame and silence that often surrounds vulnerability. But she also highlights a key insight: how we ask for help matters. “Sometimes people ask indirectly,” she explains, “and that can make it hard for others to recognise that they’re reaching out.”

Barbara adds a simple but powerful truth: “People can’t read your mind.” If you’re struggling, don’t wait for someone to notice — speak up, clearly and openly. It’s not a sign of weakness, but of strength and self-awareness.

But what happens if my friends aren’t equipped to support me? What if they say, “Friend, this is too much for me”? Dr Matenge stresses that this is not a dead-end — it’s an opportunity. “That’s when you seek further help,” she says. A psychologist or mental health professional is trained to offer support, to help you make sense of complex emotions, and to provide tools for coping and healing.

Therapists also conduct risk assessments to ensure you’re not in a vulnerable or unsafe situation. This is particularly important when what you’re feeling goes beyond what friends and family can help you manage.

Her key message is both clear and compassionate: “if your support system isn’t working the way it used to, it’s time to ask for more help.” Whether that’s speaking to a therapist, contacting a helpline, or finding support in the community — I are not alone, and I deserve care that meets me where I am.

This episode reminds me that asking for help isn’t just brave — it’s a vital step towards healing, growth, and reclaiming my wellbeing.

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