This week on DiCHiPi UNFiLTERED, Barbara Moagi, Lauren Smit and Dr Batetshi Matenge engage in a powerful and deeply honest conversation about mental health, identity, and the pressure to succeed.

Barbara opens up about the first time she saw a psychologist — a turning point that came during one of the most difficult moments in her life. At university, she was set on becoming an engineer, but after experiencing her first academic failure, she found herself spiralling. Living away from home in residence, she battled with intense anxiety and fear over how her parents would react. She had built her entire identity around academic excellence, and the idea of falling short felt devastating.

One of her biggest fears was telling her father that she no longer wanted to pursue engineering. The anxiety around disappointing him was overwhelming. Yet, when she finally found the courage to open up, his response surprised her: “No, it’s okay. I could tell.” His support marked a turning point, showing that acceptance often follows honesty.

Dr Matenge affirmed Barbara’s experience, saying, “It’s okay to want to do something with your life, but it can’t be at the expense of your mental health.” This statement grounded the conversation in an important truth — that success should not come at the cost of wellbeing.

Lauren Smit also contributed by sharing her connection to Grace’s anxiety in the series, particularly the physical manifestation of it through nail biting — something she personally struggles with. Dr Matenge noted that this kind of behaviour is not uncommon, as it often becomes a way to cope by exerting control over one small thing when everything else feels overwhelming.

Lauren went on to reflect on her own journey with therapy during university. While the service was helpful, she found it challenging to speak to a different therapist at each session, as it meant starting over every time. This experience made the process of opening up feel more difficult and emotionally draining, yet it also highlighted the value of simply having access to support.

The episode brings forward key reflections about failure, vulnerability, and the power of supportive environments. It’s a reminder that mental health is not just about surviving — it’s about being able to seek help, navigate difficult moments, and eventually thrive. At its core, the conversation urges us as young people to untangle our self-worth from perfection, and instead, to choose growth, wellness, and self-compassion.

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