It is so sad how we feel less of a woman after a break-up, like there’s something wrong with us or we are incomplete. I’ve been there. I met a man whom I believed was the love of my life in 2021. Man, everything about him was perfect. He made it simple to love him, he appreciated everything he got. Not much into status, don’t mind how bad you are in the kitchen or how bad is your fashion sense as long as you are comfortable in your own skin he’s fine. That’s simple in my eyes. Well like any other relationship we had phases, phase one was infatuation everything was perfect. We call it a honeymoon phase in our world, sana I was so sure about this love thing.

Two months down the line, we moved in together. You know moving in with someone you have to be okay with whatever they come with or whatever you find, like the way they do things. Well with us it was not a problem adapting to each other’s lifestyle because in most cases we do the same things. We became intertwined, there was nothing I would do without him being involved and it was the same with him. Soon I started seeking validation from him, my own opinion was not enough if he didn't approve of them. Later everything was about him, I would do things not because I wanted but because I wanted to impress him.

6 months down the line everything took an unpleasant turn, he started cheating. A so-called-perfect guy became someone I did not know, I sat him down and had a conversation with him trying to find out why he’s cheating. What he said broke me to the point of no repair, he told me that he was not cheating on me but he was cheating on his other girl with me. He further said that he has no intention of being my partner for a long time, we are just vibing for now. And, he will never leave his other girlfriend for a low-life girl like me. After that conversation everything became blurry, and I was shocked.

I moved out and went back to my place. That was the time I realised that I lost touch with myself, now I have to journey back to me. Trust me it wasn’t easy, remember I was so used to him validating everything I would do, so I could feel confident about it but now I have to learn to trust myself, and believe in myself. I never felt so lost, like I now have to start my life afresh. I found myself, I know how it feels to feel worthless but all I can say is girl get up and journey back to yourself.

XOXO

Moleboheng Maleka