Dee Koala shot to fame with her hit single "Friday." She blends local sounds with modern hip-hop, and we all love her fresh, unapologetic voice.

The award-winning South African rapper and hip-hop artist from Khayelitsha, Cape Town shares her game plan for managing the stresses of everyday life in her Jik'iJournal entry. Want to share your own story with us? Email your JiK’iJournal to jikizinto@girleffect.org

Being in the spotlight, juggling the expectations of my listeners and family, while staying true to myself can be overwhelming. But I've found ways to keep my head above water, even when the pressure feels like it might drown me.

Before, I would put so much pressure on myself that my brain worked overtime. I still tend to overthink things, and I know now that I need to put that energy into something positive or I will drive myself crazy.

If I could give you advice on managing the curveballs life throws at you I would say; 'know yourself, protect your peace, and don't conform to what others think you should do'.

I Overthink!

I am an overthinker, which means I often worry about whether I did or said something wrong at work or in my personal life. I don’t like feeling like I didn't do my best. I have had to learn to make peace with the times I have disappointed others, especially when it was to prioritise myself and what I needed.

But sometimes I mess up! And that can cause me to spiral into some bad feelings. For example, I once missed my flight to a campaign because I overslept! I felt terrible, and I had no excuse (besides the fact that I snoozed my alarm). Because of how much I panicked, I accidentally booked another flight with no return. It was a nightmare. Luckily it all worked out and the client was cool and calm.

These days, I am kinder to myself. I try to set realistic goals and remind myself that it's okay not to be perfect all the time.

Know Yourself

To me, I work the best at night. And I am a very logical person. So during the day, to get out of my head, I make sure to keep busy. Whether I am cleaning the house, cooking, or going out for a bit - I find that staying active keeps me feeling good (and it helps me sort through all of my racing thoughts).

But that doesn't mean I don't see the benefits in being still and mindful - sometimes - haha. I wish I could tell you to meditate, or that it works for me as part of my lifestyle - but I would be lying. Knowing yourself is the best way to ensure you are coping with whatever life throws at you. Not everyone’s advice will work for you, even if they were in the exact same situation, We are all unique and need unique coping tools. Just like I know that I am too fidgety to meditate, but when I feel stressed I sit with my thoughts with music playing, or a movie playing in the background. And that helps me concentrate on what I need to do next. Do what works for you.

Some Write, Some Do Voice Notes

Same with the meditation vibe, I also don't journal - at least not in the traditional sense. When I need to get my thoughts together, instead of writing things down I make voice recordings on my phone and use that as a place to vent, and bounce ideas off myself! I can say what's on my mind, no matter how 'out there' it is. I keep these thoughts password-protected, so they belong only to me. Being in the public eye can be hard. People take everything you say and find something to 'cancel' you about. Because of this, I am very guarded and protective of my thoughts and careful about what I say. That doesn't only need to be true if you are a public figure, though. Practise self-preservation, This means, don't share everything of yourself with others and make sure you trust those to who you speak your truth. Not everyone wants the best for you. You don't need to tweet everything!

Know Your Circle

And that leads me to the next rule I live by; “Know your circle” - this is a big one. Especially when you find success in what you do, and now everyone wants to be around you.
Really knowing and trusting the people around you means understanding and being aware of their intentions for you — This includes your friends, family, and colleagues. It’s about knowing who supports you, who challenges you, and who influences your decisions. By being aware of your circle, you can build stronger relationships, set healthy boundaries, and ensure that the people you spend the most time with are positive influences in your life - and aren’t haters posing as friends.

Social Media Isn’t Real Life

Talking about haters, reading negative comments can be dangerous to your mental health so I try my best to only use my Twitter for work. I don't tussle on the socials. I don't share my opinion or my private life. It takes too much of your energy to be caught up in a Twitter brawl. Someone will always find a problem. I like speaking to people who have open minds. That doesn't mean I don't engage with people who disagree with me - but there is a time and place for everything and we need to respect each other. Social media can be toxic. Also, be careful what you text! For important, and confidential info, rather call (no screenshots, right?).

No matter what life throws at you, be true to yourself. Everyone loves an authentic queen who knows who she is, and what she wants.

And if it doesn't feel good to do things a certain way, switch it up and find what coping tools work for the unique soul that you are!